Coming to Bed So Edible OR Never Felt Like Such A Girl

This is a song I've been listening to a lot lately, and incidentally, it's by one of my favorite bands.  I have a really annoying habit of writing down song lyrics and commenting on them - as I've previously mentioned - but since I really can't think of much else I should write about today, I'm gonna share them.  Also, I've been so terrible about writing on my blog recently that I need to start forcing myself to do it again - have I said that before?

So I won't hesitate no more.  It just so happens this song is slightly relevant in my life right now.

To preface, I'll note that in the past few weeks, after months and months of what one might term inertia, my life has started to move again - not sure if it's forward - but it has begun to move, and I'm really not about to stop it no matter what the consequences might be. 

In the wheel of my life, there have always been those little bits of road gravel that get wedged in the grooves and create a little wear and tear. 

The following song is one that never fails to make me feel that all those complicated bits of life are great reasons to sing and dance - which I do while I'm getting ready every morning :

American Girls
Counting Crows 

She comes out on Fridays every time and stands out in the line
I could've been anyone she'd seen
She waits another week to fall apart
She couldn't make another day

I wish it was anyone but me
I could've been anyone, you see
She had something breakable just under her skin

American Girls are weather and noise
Playing the changes for all of the boys
Holding a candle up to my hand
Making me feel so incredible

She comes out of closets every night but then she locks herself away
Wish she could keep everything from me
I could've been anyone, you see
She's nothing but porcelain underneath her skin

American Girls are weather and noise
Playing the changes for all of the boys
Holding a candle right up to my hand
Making me feel so incredible

Little shiver shaking me everyday
But I could get this same thing anywhere
So if she goes away, well, it's alright and I'm okay
She said, "Come back again tonight."
And I said, "I might, I might, I might."
She said, "Well, that's alright if it's alright, it's alright with you then it's alright, it's alright with me."

I waited for an hour last Friday night, and she never came around
She took almost everything from me
I'm going through my closets trying on her clothes
Almost everyday

I could've been anyone, you see
I wish it was anyone but me
There's nothing but pills and ashes under my skin

American Girls are weather and noise
Playing the changes for all of the boys
Holding a candle right up to my hand
Making me feel so incredible

If I made you cry, just tell me why
I'll try again if you let me try
American Girls are feathers and cream
Coming to bed so edible

American Girls, oh American Girls
American Girls oh, oh, oh, oh
American Girls, oh American Girls

American Girls oh, oh, oh, oh


You made me cry
You made me cry
You made me cry
Yeah, you made me cry 
You made me cry, hey miss American Girl

This song might never make it into the top 100 list of any given group of experts on the subject of music, but it makes me feel great every time I hear it. 

Generally speaking I really love songs that sound really fun and poppy but are about something a little bit deeper - maybe not a lot, but a little - and this one falls into that category. 

Sometimes there are those moments when, for one reason or another, we need to surrender to our slightly naughtier side.  Knowing that the choices that we make with regards to someone else might not be the wisest or the most rational isn't always going to keep us from making them anyway. 

Usually there is something fascinating about the person our eyes fall on, or at least that's what we convince ourselves of.  And although the relationship may not be one for the ages, it's sure fun while it lasts. 

This is not a love song.  It's a song about finding someone with whom you know you shouldn't necessarily travel down a dark and dangerous path, and yet there is nothing you can do about being completely and inexplicably drawn to them.  Sometimes the best rational decision is just too boring to be allowed, and so instead of being smart, we act based on something else.  

It's clear that this American Girl is not the most stable person on earth, probably not the best choice for an adult relationship - the same could be said for the man.  These are not two people who have to be together no matter the cost.  They are both looking for something in the wrong places.  But there is a beautiful vulnerability in each of them that draws them together.  Neither of them really wants to know the other in that way that makes you want to know everything about a person you love.  But they really do love a good roll in the hay together.  These two people have probably wounded each other in small ways - like the way we wound ourselves with paper cuts - not the profound ways in which we can only wound those we love.  But nonetheless, there exists between these people a desire to be together.  And clearly neither of the two involved have the strength to turn down that opportunity.

This is a song that says so much more than I could ever say about the way it feels to want what you know you shouldn't - and in a much cooler way.  But I'm writing about it anyway, because even though someone's five-year-old daughter could have written this blog, she didn't.  And I did.