There is an ongoing argument in my family regarding a song from the musical Avenue Q titled "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist." This song has been the subject of much debate for several years now as a result of its obviously controversial lyrics. Half of the family thinks that it's offensive and that it only serves to perpetuate racism in its failure to recognize the seriousness of the issue it addresses. The other half of the family thinks it is a funny song that is part of a funny play, and the whole point of the song is to help people lighten up a little bit in order to be able to discuss the subject of racism without feeling that its a taboo subject.
The lyrics are below - please keep in mind that it is a musical, so the format of the art is somewhat compromised by the fact that you can't hear the accompanying music. Also, the colors of the words are for the purposes of distinguishing one character's lines from another's. I could've also used different fonts, but I was lazy. The colors in no way correspond to my feelings about one character's race or another.
The only reason I'm including the lyrics here is so that those who are not familiar with the play can understand the reason behind the debate and also so that my personal shortened interpretation does not bias the reader in his or her opinion of the song, which is as follows :
Princeton: Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?
Kate Monster: Sure!
Princeton: Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?
Kate Monster: Uh huh.
Princeton: Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.
Kate Monster: Right.
Princeton: You're both Monsters.
Kate Monster: Yeah.
Princeton: Are you two related?
Kate Monster: What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!
Princeton: Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!
Kate Monster: Well, it's a touchy subject. No, not all Monsters are related. What are you trying say, huh? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh?
Princeton: No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist.
Kate Monster: I should say so. You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race.
Princeton: Well, look who's talking!
Kate Monster: What do you mean?
Princeton: What about that special Monster School you told me about?
Kate Monster: What about it?
Princeton: Could someone like me go there
Kate Monster: No, we don't want people like you -
Princeton: You see?! You're a little bit racist.
Kate Monster: Well, you're a little bit too.
Princeton: I guess we're both a little bit racist.
Kate Monster: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...
Princeton: But I guess it's true.
Kate Monster: Between me and you, I think
Both: Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes. Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find no one's really color blind. Maybe it's a fact we all should face everyone makes judgments based on race.
Princeton: Now not big judgments, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from -
Kate Monster: No!
Princeton: No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!
Kate Monster: Right!
Both: Everyone's a little bit racist today. So, everyone's a little bit racist. Okay! Ethnic jokes might be uncouth, but you laugh because they're based on truth. Don't take them as personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them - so relax!
Princeton: All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
Kate Monster: Okay!
Princeton: There's a plane going down and there's only one parachute - And there's a rabbi, a priest...
Kate Monster: And a black guy!
Gary Coleman: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?
Kate Monster: Uh...
Gary Coleman: You were telling a black joke!
Princeton: Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.
Gary Coleman: I don't.
Princeton: Well, of course you don't - you're black! But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?
Gary Coleman: Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!
Princeton: Now, don't you think that's a little racist?
Gary Coleman: Well, damn, I guess you're right.
Kate Monster: You're a little bit racist.
Gary Coleman: Well, you're a little bit too.
Princeton: We're all a little bit racist.
Gary Coleman: I think that I would have to agree with you.
Princeton/Kate Monster: We're glad you do.
Gary Coleman: It's sad but true! Everyone's a little bit racist -All right!
Kate Monster: All right!
Princeton: All right!
Gary Coleman: All right! Bigotry has never been exclusively white
All: If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit, even though we all know that it's wrong, maybe it would help us get along.
Princeton: Oh, Christ do I feel good.
Gary Coleman: Now there was a fine upstanding black man!
Princeton: Who?
Gary Coleman: Jesus Christ.
Kate Monster: But, Gary, Jesus was white.
Gary Coleman: No, Jesus was black.
Kate Monster: No, Jesus was white.
Gary Coleman: No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-
Princeton: Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!
All: (Laugh)
Brian: Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
Gary Coleman: Racism!
Brian: Cool.
Christmas Eve: BRIAN! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs!
Princeton: What's that mean?
Brian: Um, recyclables.
(All laughing)
Brian: Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?
Kate Monster: Oh, come off it, Brian! Everyone's a little bit racist.
Brian: I'm not!
Princeton: Oh no?
Brian: Nope! How many Oriental wives have you got?
Christmas Eve: What? Blian!
Princeton: Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is Asian-American!
Christmas Eve: I know you are no intending to be, but calling me Oriental - offensive to me!
Brian: I'm sorry, honey, I love you.
Christmas Eve: And I rove you.
Brian: But you're racist, too.
Christmas Eve: Yes, I know. The Jews have all the money, and the whites have all the power, and I'm always in taxi-cab with driver who no shower!
Princeton: Me too!
Kate Monster: Me too!
Gary Coleman: I can't even get a taxi!
All: Everyone's a little bit racist, it's true, but everyone is just about as racist as you! If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit, and everyone stopped being so PC, maybe we could live in - harmony!
Christmas Eve: Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!
And now for the weigh in : CLEARly this song is a little bit racist. I don't think that is an arguable fact (and since I'm in charge of this blog, it won't be a point that is argued - not to mention the fact that very few people read it). I've been trying to finish this paragraph for awhile, and I think part of the reason is that I can see the argument from both sides (of course I can - I'm a Libra). But the fact of the matter is that "everyone makes judgments based on race," at least everyone I know does. I can't count the number of discussions I've had with my friends of all backgrounds and races who have made comments about their race or someone else's race based on their experiences or the opinions of others.
Does it mean that we're all a little bit racist? Maybe. But I've found as I've gotten older and had more of these discussions that the more I talk about the topic of race with people - particularly those who are a different race from me - that every conversation brings about a little more understanding about the people with whom I'm speaking. Because I get an idea of who they are, where they come from, and their personal opinions on the matter and other matters.
In short I've become closer to the people around me as a result of bridging the gap of the "race" taboo.
Communication of any kind can help people come to a greater understanding of the overall picture of any topic. So no matter how improperly worded the song may be, I believe the aim of it is to open up conversations, and yes, even arguments on the subject of race. Because if the topic remains taboo, no understanding will ever be met.
Yeah, I'm ready. Bring on the comments....
We all make judgements based on race. The fact is, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. Still, just because we giggle at a certain joke, or even pass a judgement on someone who we don't yet know...that doesn't make us all racist. I think we all make these kind of judgements based on race, gender, hair color, etc. It's human nature. However, once we get to know people, we realize that not all blonds are dumb or not all Asians are bad drivers.
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